My Take on Murphy's Law
By: Alexia Radu
WINTER SPORTS EDITION
Bad luck was again a given from the beginning of the year, as expected, but let me focus solely on two particular days to which I can easily add a nice dramatic touch for extra effect. It’s an imperative to firstly construct the backstory: family skiing trip minus half of the family because of my dad breaking his tendon exactly 2 days before it. I’m going to press fast forward to the unfolding of events here and spare you of dull details such as a 6 hours ride and a paralyzing coldness.
Day 1: Après-skis can be overrated; just hear me out. I’m starting to get the discomforting feeling one gets when they know someone is watching them: in the corner of my eyesight I can see a compact group of 10 guys openly staring at me and my sister. Next, I can hear the intrusive sound of his voice materialising alongside the loud music, hysteric screams and loud talking, all hitting the walls of a small après-ski hut. He taps me on my shoulder and proceeds to ask “Do you like kittens?”. Don’t get my wrong, I’m all for creativity and being original but I’ve come to appreciate when something is borderline odd. I ask “What?” He says “me and my friends have some pictures with kittens on our phones if you’d like to see them”. I seriously don’t know if the creepier thing was the fact that his approach to this was so serious or his facial expression (way too eager) while he was waiting for my response. Following a negative response on my side, the group continued to stare at us the whole night as if nothing had happened.
Day 2: Whilst dancing close to the DJ booth I’m all of a sudden handed a glass of champagne from this guy from another table. After a thorough investigation of who they might be, I spot his girlfriend and another couple of guys and imagine that he’s most likely just friendly and wants to invite me, my sister and another friend over to party with them. I’m the only one handed a glass tho. Confused, as anyone would, I started purposely avoiding eye contact and pretending nothing happened. At one point, when my sister and the friend go to the bathroom, he comes again and starts talking to me about how he has houses in multiple countries and tries to sell me the idea of joining some of his parties. I politely refuse and look over at their table, wondering what his girlfriend is doing meanwhile; I notice her fuming and fixating me with a blank face. The next thing I know the guy and his friends are being escorted outside. I later find out that this moment could be set up as a scene from a bad soap opera: bad guy attempts to orchestrate a fight between his psycho girlfriend and naive younger girl, all culminates with the guy apologising and declaring his love to the girlfriend (last part didn’t happen but would be a dramatic ending). Suffice it to say I was very close to being hit that night and was very lucky it didn’t happen.
By: Noa Jansen
Noa’s confessional: a place where you can spill the tea and tell all your sins.
In this sacrament, Noa can forgive sins in Off-Screen’s name. With all the crazy stuff happening within Off-Screen’s walls, it was about time for us to have a safe place to tell your most embarrassing, weird, unusual and striking stories for them to be heard by all of us. So from now on, when something special happens to you, you have something on your mind or there’s something else that you really want to share with the rest of Off-Screen, send an email to email@example.com, tell me in person or reveal it to me in a dream.
I decided that, just like in a real confessional, everything should be and stay anonymous. And remember, this is a safe place where everyone can come to terms with his/her sins, where judgement is a word that doesn’t belong in our vocabulary, and where we can all enjoy your embarrassing stories.
“A while ago I was riding the bus and I was sitting in the front. I was listening to music and suddenly this older woman who was sitting behind me taps me on the shoulder and says: “Honey, I think something fell out of your bag.”
Now, I just got my period and bought a new box of tampons which I brought with me in my bag.
So I look down and see the box of tampons lying on the ground. I pick it up and see it’s empty, so I look behind me and I look under the chairs and apparently all the tampons are spread out over the bus and everyone is laughing at me. So all of the 30 tampons I brought with me are probably still under all of the chairs in that bus.”
“Last year during carnival, I was with friend in Helmond. We were at the parade, and everyone was wearing a penguin onesie, but I was the only one wearing a Pikachu onesie.
Everyone was hungry, so we decided to go to a local fast-food restaurant, and we all ordered cheeseburgers and fries. When everyone finished their food, one cheeseburger was left, but no one knew who it belonged to. Me and my friend decided to split it in half, and I thought: “Haha, wouldn’t it be funny if I put the whole thing in my mouth and try to eat it like that?” That’s what I did and I tried to chew it, only it didn’t really work out. So I tried chewing it some more, but it wouldn’t really move in my mouth as it became kind of swampy. I tried to swallow the thing, half a cheeseburger, but that didn’t work either. So eventually, it was stuck. And I thought by myself, if I just try to swallow it, it will be okay. I kept trying to swallow it, and at one moment I realize I’m actually choking. The girl who was sitting next to me, who I had just met, asked me if I was okay, but of course I wasn’t. So she asked around if anyone knew how to do the Heimlich maneuver, and she started slapping me on my back until the cheeseburger came out. I was all purple and blue and my eyes were bulging, but I was fine in the end and didn’t choke. Afterwards I realized that I actually also just could have choked, in my Pikachu onesie, in a local fast-food restaurant somewhere in Helmond and then that would have been my death.”
By: Brian Chan & Roen Wijn
Although Het Ketelhuis is a theatre dedicated to Dutch film, in the month February they screen a lot of international films that are worth watching: 'The Whistlers' is a Romanian film noir about an undercover cop infiltrating the mafia. If you like this kind of movie, consider watching 'Il Testimone Invisible', a Spanish Hitchcock-esque whodunnit. Also, there are two French titles screening now: 'Hors Normes', a film by the same makers as the very popular Intouchables, and 'Au nom de la terre', a fim by debuting director Edouard Bergeon. Last but not least Het Ketelhuis is screening Muidhond, a Flemish psychological drama, that upon its first screening ever won the Gent Public Choice award.
Off-Screen members can visit any one of these films and many more for just €6,-- upon showing their membercard.
This March, ComedyTrain plays host to two multi-award winning comedians for one great night of jokes and laughs. Comedy act Roy & The Buffalo, starring British Comedy Award winner and BAFTA nominated filmmaker Nina Conti and former Breaking Bad actor Shenoah Allen, are certain to put a smile on anyone's face and more! Please check out this website for more information!
Coming up Off-Screen
By: Sophie Dijkman
In this monthly section you will be informed about what is coming up Off-Screen! Stay up to date on all of our fun media related events, parties and trips. From the themes to the sign-up dates, this update will give you all the information you need for the events. Did anything in the calendar spark your attention?
Posters by: Eva Rupert, Lou Pohl, Julia Wegman & Lara Godoff
Off-Screen’s Got Talent
Do you feel like sharing any of your secret - or not so secret - talents? Don’t forget to sign up for Off-Screen’s Got Talent! You still have a week to practice, so don’t let the opportunity to impress your friends (and win €100!) go by… If you want to see your friends shine from the audience, you can also buy a ticket to be part of the audience. Sign up to perform by simply sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and see you on stage!
When: Wednesday February 19th, 20:00-23:00 (with break)
Who: Off-Screen and friends
The third General Member Assembly – GMA – of the year, is already around the corner! On the 2nd of March, just after we got back from lovely Berlin, the Board of 2019/2020 will give the members an insight of what is happening within Off-Screen. Are you curious how the passed Off-Screen events went, how Off-Screen spends their budget or do you have any other burning questions for the Board? This is the chance to find out and get the answers you’ve been searching for! Learn more about the organisation within Off-Screen while enjoying some free snacks and drinks. See you there!
When: Monday March 2nd, 17:00-20:00 (with break)
Where: OMHP, room C0.17
Who: Off-Screen members only
Off-Screen's Charity Gala
Off-Screen’s Acquisition Committee is proud to announce the second edition of Off-Screen’s Charity Gala! With this year all of its focus on raising awareness for charity Oasebos, an organisation that aims to protect the Costa Rican forests and their wildlife by acquiring parts of the land and saving it from deforestation and other similar issues. All of the contributions made on this eventful night, including all of the drinks and the results of the auction, will be donated to Oasebos. Keep an eye out on Facebook for the full program of the night!
When: Wednesday the 11th of March
Who: Off-Screen and friends
Study Trip: Marrakesh
Have you always wanted to wander through magical Morocco and enjoy its beautiful culture, architecture and food… luckily this is your chance to experience all of this! On the 3rd of April we will be taking 30 lucky Off-Screeners to the marvelous city of Marrakesh, Morocco. For only €339,- you get a full week of experiences and yet to be announced activities… Don’t forget to sign up on the 23rd of February at 20.00 sharp!
When: 3rd - 10th of April
Where: Marrakesh, Morocco
Who: Off-Screen members only
Camila's Hot News
By: Camila Salcedo
In this monthly section I will share the hottest news of each week of the month. Every month I will summarize and write about news items of the past month that are relevant to this day. This month I wrote about the tragic helicopter crash, Harry and Meghan's break up with the crown, more Victoria's Secret scandals and the Coronavirus. Do you want to know more? Keep on reading!
Kobe's tragic helicopter crash
On the 26th of January it was announced that 9 people were killed in a helicopter crash. The families involved were devastated by this event but also mostly people that follow American basketball and the NBA since one of the most popular Laker players and his daughter were two of the victims. This event created controversy this month that lead to creating an internet movement, doing praying sessions for their families, the opening of a basketball hall in the Philippines, and small memorials in places Kobe Bryant used to go such as Italy, and various parts of united states such as Pennsylvania, Los Angeles and California.
Breaking up with the Queen
Mid-January lovebirds Meghan Markle and Prince Harry decided to cut off their relationship with their roles as senior member of the royal family. They stated that they want to be independent economically but did not want to back off their royalty responsibilities. Later they realized this was not a possibility, if they break up with the royal family, they also need to stop doing their duties as a duke and duchess. They also announced that they are planning to move abroad to other countries such as Canada or South Africa to raise their baby in a safe and relaxed environment.
As we reported in a previous newsletter, Victoria’s Secret canceled their fashion show last year. However, this year they still managed to create a scandal and not in a positive way. Two of the most powerful men in the company, Mr. Wexner and Mr. Epstein, were investigated after there were 30 employees complaining about them being misogynist and one of them was even charged of sex trafficking. Victoria’s Secret has lost sales and is shutting down some stores due these scandals and the misogynist they have been hiding for a long time.
This month a new virus was discovered affecting human beings in China. The virus affects the respiratory system and might cause pneumonia. Scientists claimed that it is a virus that can survive in your system between 2 to 14 days without being detected. It is a virus that is being spread quickly since the first victims of it were in a transportation hub. China has been the most affected country with more that 27,900 people with the virus, nevertheless countries such as Singapore, Australia, Germany and United States have claimed that they have in between 12 and 28 people infected.